Burnt Orange Report

Just Say "No" To Nudist Youth Camps

By Vince Leibowitz

Since I both despise Rep. Bryan Hughes (R-Mineola) and love writing abour zany, bizarre bills, I just couldn't pass this up:

Rep. Bryan Hughes, a Republican from Mineola, filed a bill that would outlaw nudist youth camps in Texas. No such camps currently exist in Texas, Hughes said, but a constituent who read a 2003 New York Times article in which a nudist group said it planned to start one here in 2005 asked him to make a pre-emptive strike to prevent that from happening. Hughes originally filed the bill during the first special session in 2003, but it did not pass. The bill is not a moral statement against nudity, he said, but rather a measure to protect children against pedophiles who could take advantage of them at such a camp.

I can see the point about nude pedophiles, as Van Zandt County is unfortunate enough to be home to the "Ponderosa Naturist Retreat" (a nudist colony) on State Highway 64 in Myrtle Springs, and a few years back there were several people from there charged with all manners of inappropriate acts, but don't Legislators have other things to worry about than whether a nudist youth camp might come to Texas? School finance, perhaps?

Either way, this is about par for Hughes. During his last campaign, almost every speech he gave centered around three things: 1.) He made it legal for kids to pray in public school 2.) he made it a requirement for kids say the pledge to the flag in school, and 3.) He is against gay marriage. Not just a terrible amount of substance there, but then again, what do we expect from the single largest recipient of TRMPAC funds in the entire state?

But, since Hugues is at it, I wish he'd get the legislature to prevent the local nudist colony's landscaper from mowing the outer lawn of the "retreat" right along the highway in a thong and nothing but, because, if you're unfortunate enough to drive by when that's going on, it just ain't right.

Vince Leibowitz is County Chairman of the Democratic Party of Van Zandt County