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BOR Humor

I Have a [Conservative] Dream!


by: jelyon

Mon Jan 15, 2007 at 09:41 AM CST

( - promoted by Matt Glazer)

Apologies to the memory of Dr. King, but I just can't help myself.

Go back to Texas, go back to New Jersey, go back to Louisiana, go back to Love Canal, go back to the industrial parks and stretches of coastline dominated by chemical factories, knowing that somehow regulations can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of big government. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the New Deal era, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

There's More... :: (3 Comments, 594 words in story)

Political Holiday Gift Ideas


by: John McClelland

Fri Dec 01, 2006 at 01:11 PM CST

It's a joyous holiday season this December. But once again, I'm stuck on what to buy people. You can always buy socks or candy, but that is just so cliche. And Marshmallow Peeps have not come out with their wish list yet.

I've decided we need to help each other out with some political holiday gift ideas. So far, I have found one. I'm not sure if everyone would like it, but Amazon.com seems to think I would:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Barbara Ann Radnofksy might like it. Then again, maybe not. What are your gift ideas?

Discuss :: (3 Comments)

Smile!


by: John McClelland

Mon Nov 27, 2006 at 03:59 PM CST

I just wanted to show our GOP friends what a win in Texas looks like (courtesy of our friends at Blue NC)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Discuss :: (1 Comments)

Delay's Staff Walks Out on Sekula-Gibbs


by: Phillip Martin, Progress Texas

Wed Nov 15, 2006 at 10:33 AM CST

Here's something funny. From Roll Call (subscription required):
The woman who was sworn in this week as the interim Republican successor to ex-Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was, shall we say, not a hit with holdover DeLay aides.

In fact, they showed their feelings about their new boss Tuesday by walking out of the office en masse and resigning, effective immediately. The DeLay refugees, who included DeLay's personal chief of staff, David James, walked out of the office, Von Trapp family-style (though without the singing) and huddled at Starbucks to get their wits about them.

Oh, but wait, there's more:
She showed up to take over DeLay's old office on Thursday and, according to sources familiar the office dynamics, was "mean" to the staff. On Tuesday, at her new Member's open-house reception in the office, sources charged that she was less than pleased that neither President Bush nor Vice President Cheney showed up with the rest of the welcome wagon...
You just can't make some things up.
Discuss :: (11 Comments)

Why Spellcheck Can't be Trusted


by: Phillip Martin, Progress Texas

Wed Oct 11, 2006 at 04:31 PM CDT

From the AP: Typo Will Cost Michigan County $40k
GRAND HAVEN, Mich. -- Ottawa County will pay about $40,000 to correct an embarrassing typo on its Nov. 7 election ballot: The "L" was left out of "public."

A total of 170,000 ballots will have to be reprinted.

The mistake appeared in the text of a proposed amendment to the state constitution that would ban some types of affirmative action.

The word "public" was misspelled one of the six times it appears, county Clerk Daniel C. Krueger said Tuesday. Five or six people in his office had proofread the ballot, but it was an election clerk who found the mistake early last week.

"It's just one of those words," Krueger said. "Even after we told people it was in there, they still read over it."

Enjoy that one, everyone.
Discuss :: (5 Comments)

Surprise endorsment for Kinky


by: John McClelland

Wed Sep 27, 2006 at 04:55 PM CDT

In a surprise move this afternoon, endorsements for Kinky Friedman were announced.

Halloween Marshmallow Peeps announced they would support the independent campaign of Kinky.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

"We wanted to endorse the Kinkster in late September, since we know that October is a big campaign month," Peeps were quoted as saying, "and plus we know that there is a good chance someone might eat us."

The announcement came as no shock to another candy critter known for his political aspirations. Chocolate bunny was contacted for his opinion earlier today. "It is no surprise these rogue Peeps would endorse an independent. But they should not be confused with original Peeps, as they are known yellow-bird Democrats who endorsed Boyd Richie in the summer for party chair."

We could not reach cute fluffy kitten or astroturf for their comments.

Discuss :: (6 Comments)

TX-Gov: Bell Hunts for Votes


by: Karl-Thomas Musselman

Tue Sep 12, 2006 at 08:00 AM CDT

First, hello to Hardigree who graced us with a post after all these months. Of course, since he used to do humor his latest fits perfectly with this post.

Chris Bell went dove hunting this weekend. It's one of those things candidates do in Texas as Charles Elliott, a political scientist at Texas A&M-Commerce for more than 30 years, explained in the Statesman article.

He said Sunday that although a hunt for the cameras might seem pointless, it's also "part of the ritual you go through to make sure everybody knows you're a good ol' boy not in favor of gun control."

Hunting "may not help (a candidate) much. But it will hurt if you don't," Elliott said.

But things don't always go quite as planned...

Bell's borrowed shotgun was in the safety position when he attempted to squeeze the trigger on a flitting dove then shot by his guide, Tony Timmons.

"He about broke his finger trying to pull the trigger," Timmons told a hunting pal afterward.

I can't wait to run for office someday. I'm going to take the press Snipe Hunting.

Discuss :: (4 Comments)

Dallas City Council: When baggy pants attack!


by: John McClelland

Fri Aug 25, 2006 at 04:15 PM CDT

The streets of Dallas will be safe once more. Nobody will have to worry about the menace to society. The scurge of the city. No more!

If the Dallas City Council has its way, baggy pants will no longer be allowed in the city.

DMN article 8/24

Mind you, the topic is kind of funny. But we have way too many things on the plate in the city of Dallas. Plumber's crack isn't one of them!

I let the Dallas Morning News know my feelings in a letter published today. They could be fixing the crime rate, taxes, etc. Instead, they pull out a tactic of smoke and mirrors.

I wonder if Karl Rove has been helping them out over in City Hall with their political show boating? Or are these council people who are term limited, looking to prove that they can be good Congressmen and women one day?

Discuss :: (7 Comments)

BOR Shareholder Vote on BOR/JAB Merger


by: Karl-Thomas Musselman

Tue Aug 22, 2006 at 08:00 AM CDT

All BOR Registered Users may vote in the "shareholder" vote on whether to accept the terms of the merger between Burnt Orange Report and Just Another Blog.

Please case your votes here.

Note that abstained votes will not be counted towards the totaling of votes. Just like in real shareholder proposals, they are proverbial trashbin for public opinion.

Discuss :: (1 Comments)

So Where is that Helmet Ordinance?


by: Karl-Thomas Musselman

Mon Aug 21, 2006 at 10:00 PM CDT

Oh where, oh where, could the ordinance be?
Oh where, oh where could it be?

The City of Austin has yet to release a draft or final version of a proposed change to the existing bicycle helmet ordinance that would purportedly make it illegal for adults to ride bikes anywhere without a helmet. The council voted to hold a public hearing on the mystery ordinance on Aug. 24, a mere two days from today.

Current Austin law requires anyone age 17 or under to wear a bicycle helmet.

"All we know is that council is looking at something that makes it mandatory for adults to wear helmets when riding a bicycle," said Rob D'Amico, spokesperson for the League of Bicycling Voters (LOBV), the organization leading the campaign against the proposal. "Beyond that, we can just guess at what we're supposed to comment on when it comes time for a public hearing. What will the penalties be for not having a helmet on? Will this apply to people riding in the "pedicabs" pulled by bicyclists downtown?  Can they haul someone off to jail for not wearing a helmet? Inquiring minds, helmeted and non-helmeted, want to know."

Apparently, LOBV was told in July that the ordinance was not public and therefore could not be released. But there is one person that should know what is being crafted- former Mayor Bruce Todd who is on a holy quest to helmet the heads of Austinites whether they like it or not. As D'Amico said in a press statement,

"I guess that means Todd is privy to what's going on, so now we're looking for another former mayor out there with connections who might be able to help us figure it out."

Paging Kirk Watson...Gus Garcia? Heck, I bet Jennifer Gale might have the best information for as much time as she spends at City Council. (Does anyone else find that somewhat sad?)

There are other alternatives of course. The city's Urban Transportation Commission had the issue brought up on it's docket which resulted in (shockingly) not a recommendation for speedy passage of Bruce's Bike Law, but a "18-month comprehensive study on bicycle injuries and safety issues" which might, you know, provide some real statistics to base policy on for the City of Austin.

Also, (shockingly) the Austin Cycling Association, the largest bicycle organization in the Austin area with 1,500 members, is also recommending that the city not address an ordinance change next week, so that the city and ACA have time to review alternative recommendations for bicycle safety measures. The ACA leadership and membership voted in May to not support the proposed ordinance.

The public hearing on the yet to be circulated ordinance will be this Thursday, August 24, starting at 6pm down at City Hall.

Discuss :: (0 Comments)

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