Breaking news: Halloween Peeps have just endorsed Tom Schieffer for Governor of Texas. This comes as a shocking surprise about face from 2006, when Halloween Peeps endorsed Kinky Friedman.
Peeps could not be reached for comment, per usual, as Peeps don't talk to the media.
We are still waiting to hear about possible endorsements from Treaty Oak and Princess the adorable kitten.
Rep. Scott Hochberg's bill, HB 1457, which would have given authority to the Secretary of State to allow for corrections of obvious typos by voter registration clerks when matching voter registrations to the DPS drivers license file, has been vetoed by Gov. Rick Perry. Each year it is estimated that tens of thousands of valid voter registration applications are denied because of clerical error.
Understandably, Gov. Perry isn't all that interested in voters being able to register to vote given his strong support for Voter Suppression legislation. But in a hint of irony, his veto message of HB 1457... contains a clerical error. Hat tip to Quorum Report.
House Bill No. 1457 would require the secretary of state to develop a system for accepting voter registration applications when the information provided by the voter does not match the indentifying information for that individual in the records of the Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) or other state agencies.
Gov. Perry: "There's nothing I like better than having somebody in my office on their knees...usually they're in here begging. Boy that guy's got some beautiful hair, doesn't he? ... Here you go Stump, you are going to love this buddy. That's going to make your day pal. Yeeeah... I've never seen that kind of response before."
Off-camera to Gov. Perry: "Just take him under his legs there and hoist him up."
As your guide to the sovereign state of Wackadoodleonia, welcome!
Yes, we realize you probably made your travel plans to "Texas" long before former Texas Governor Rick Perry, now the President And Supreme Commander of Wackadoodleonia, seceded and formed our own country. But despite this abrupt change, we think you'll find your stay here in Wackadoodleonia to be an enjoyable one.
We can't fault you for a bit of unease. We, too, thought at first that El Presidente Perry was kidding, when his comments suggested that he doesn't blame people a bit for wanting to secede from the United States of America - our neighbor to the North. But then, nationally-renowned statesmen Rush Limbaugh and Tom DeLay weighed in, the concept caught on, and the rest, as they say, is history.
We hope you will enjoy your time visiting Wackadoodleonia, but as with travel to any foreign country, a few precautions should be taken.
First, if you're traveling with children, please be aware that their health insurance coverage was declared null and void at our border. Please contact the Wackadoodleonia Department of Insurance for a rider which will cover your child during your visit. Unfortunately, coverage is very expensive here, when it's available at all, so good luck.
Also, please be aware that here in sunny Wackadoodleonia, we have instituted a "no tolerance" policy on crime, including instituting the death penalty for parking violations. There are no appeals, since there are no court houses. We tore them down after we deported all the lawyers. We now settle our disputes as a civilized and free people should - with guns.
We love our U.S. neighbors to the North. However, we must take issue with the border wall your country is now constructing, segregating us from the American states of Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and New Mexico. Well, we don't mind the Oklahoma wall so much, but you get the point. Wackadoodleonians only want good paying jobs to feed their families; the fact that we are sneaking across the border into the U.S. is testament to your good-paying jobs and great employee benefits. Plus, we Wackadoodleonians are doing the jobs Americans don't want to do anyway. So please keep that in mind and try to be a little more sensitive, mmm-kay?
Also, as a U.S. visitor to Wackadoodleonia, please keep in mind that we have very strict laws against Americans voting in our elections. That's why we require that all voters show a valid Wackadoodleonia drivers license and an NRA Lifetime Membership card prior to being allowed to cast a vote for the Republican of their choice.
And finally - it's true what they say, "you can go to Wackadoodleonia, but don't drink the water!" Please note that even before Texas broke away from our oppressors to the North, Wackadoodleonia had the hightest amount of toxic chemicals released into our water anywhere in the U.S.
With those details aside, we hope you enjoy your stay, and hope you enjoyed Lee Greenwood's rousing "I'm Proud To Be A Wackadoodleonian" over the loudspeakers as you arrived at the airport! As President Perry says, "we're proud of Wackadoodleonia - how 'bout you?"
PS: we realize that we kind of messed up the whole look of the American flag when we withdrew from the Union. 49 stars instead of 50 just looks like crap - our bad. May we suggest that you take in Puerto Rico a state, if only to maintain the symmetry? Just a thought.
We asked you to vote, and you told us you were ready for Burnt Orange Report to release our endorsements in the Austin municipal races. They are released as follows.
Mayor: Carole Strayhorn
As Austin looks to move forward into the 21st Century, we must realize that the solutions to Austin's problems aren't found in the present, but in the past.
We're a 21st Century City that still needs 20th Century solutions.
That's why we're endorsing Carole Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn for Mayor of Austin.
Going back three decades and four names to find a leader for the best city in Texas may seem like a fool's errand, but we have confidence in Carole Strayhorn. Over the years, Strayhorn has had both so many names and so many positions on issues that matter to most voters that we're confident she'll be able to find at least one of each that will put Austin on the right track.
Sure, naysayers will tell us that a vote for Carole Strayhorn is just silly, or that we're a bunch of "throwbackers" trying way too hard to fit into that old Nirvana tee-shirt that is a size too small in order to look and feel young and free again. Nevertheless, we have the faith and fortitude to do what is right in this cricual time for Austin.
It is time for Austin to reject the fancy, latte-sipping, hybrid-driving ideas that have brought us congested freeways, unwashed hippies, and higher taxes. It's time for Austin to put our Prius in park, gas up our Oldsmobile, and cruise down MoPac doing a cool 55 miles per hour.
Carole Strayhorn is our Oldsmobile. Let's buckle up and ride her toward a better, more prosperous Austin.
Place 1: Rick Cofer
Burnt Orange Report has always appreciated the underdog, why else would we keep endorsing Democrats over Republicans in Texas? And if there was ever an underdog in the Place one race, it's former candidate Rick Cofer.
We're generally displeased with the options presented by the two filed candidates. Perla Cavazos appears to be running for Mayor of Brownsville (seriously, have you seen those 4x8s with her giant picture on them? Soooo South Texas). Chris Riley appears to be running for Mayor of Portland and we don't have time to wait for him to bike back to Austin to meet with our editorial board.
In addition, we're tired of the Planning Commission having a stranglehold on the candidates for Place 1. It's time for a less sexy commission to have a voice, and the Solid Waste Advisory Council, which Rick Cofer serves on, more than fits the bill of less sexy.
We need someone to be running for Mayor of Austin. That candidate is Jay Coxlie Rick Cofer.
Place 2: Jose ..., that guy running against Mike
Single member districts can't wait long enough. We're endorsing Quintero to bring radical change to the structure of our government. All councilmembers should represent as narrow a view as possible and Laura Morrison needs a second to her motions on council.
Place 5: Bill Spelman
After much consideration, and an extensive search for anyone that had anything, anything bad to say about Bill Spelman, we're continuing our radical streak of endorsements by endorsing the only person on the ballot. He stands far above the competition. No literally, have you seen that guy? They might have to redesign city hall just so he can walk into his office.
NOTE: BOR was paid $500 for this endorsement.
Place 6: Sam Osemene
In a city as diverse politically as Austin, it's a real shame that the entire council is made up of Democrats (certain Mayoral candidates notwithstanding). At the same time, we're not crazy enough as to endorse any real Republicans.
That's where Sam Osemene comes in. Austin was a hotbed of activity for the Ron Paul movement, and his Libertarian ideas may represent more voters then you might think. Of course, we're talking about white college and 30 something libertarians. Do you seriously want to be the person tasked with finding African American Libertarian voters that actually turn out in city elections? That base is one person as far as we can tell- Sam Osemene. And that's why he needs our blog's endorsement to validate his candidacy by typing the following coded sentence.
"GOLDEN RON PAUL STANDARD TO LEGALIZE SAM OSEMENE MARIJUANA"
Make your yard sign more permanent. After all, it's harder to steal the entire yard. Emailed to us from an Austin resident...
I need another sign, as mine was stolen. And, tired of having Obama signs stolen from my neighborhood, I decided to make one that can't be (easily) taken; and I spray-painted a giant 14-foot Obama logo on my front yard.
(Take a look at the pictures below the fold. Pure gold for us left of center types. - promoted by Karl-Thomas Musselman)
Did anyone catch the bottom of the Austin American-Statesman print edition yesterday? I took one look at it and almost fell down laughing. My wife wondered what was so funny. I showed her and she just stared for a couple of minutes, then she lost it.
Click through for the pics... and uprate this on reddit!
Let me take the moment to make a humorous editorial aside on the presidential race. As the debate seems to continue in the comments of BOR (understanding that we're going to try to shift back over to Texas specific reporting as best we can), let's address a simple request if we're going to get into such debates: OMG Plz stop w/ teh stupid!!1
If we're going to debate who won what (which is tedious in its own right), let's be really anal-retentive about it.
A) You're right, the final national delegates from the Texas caucuses won't be determined until the state convention in June. But if you are a Clinton supporter and wish to use that line of reasoning, you'd better ask your candidate to remove similar statements about winning the Nevada caucuses from her website and not count those delegates before they've hatched either. Seeing as that hasn't happened, Barack Obama has, yes, won the Texas caucuses. No one is going to make up a 10-12 point loss by niggling over delegates here and there, and there is no guarantee that niggling would even fall in your favor.
B) If we're going to insist on not calling anything until last possible binding date, then we need to rescind calling Texas for Clinton as the vote has not yet been legally canvassed. And on election night, when claiming victory, were you not considerate of the overseas military ballots that could still be received up to 5 days after the election? Clearly, it is too early to call the state's primary, not to mention the fact that provisional ballots at the time of it having been called, had not been reviewed by each county's ballot boards. The final determination of the delegates awarded from the primary thusly should not have been claimed by Clinton.
If you are going to claim that your opponent is conspiring to defeat you- you're right! But be warned, that it looks really silly when you stoop to former Rep. Jack Stick levels in claiming that registering voters and turning them out is "gaming the system"... Well if that's the case, then game on I say. I really hope a lot more of this type of scandalous activity takes place before the election is over. There is nothing quite so undemocratic, as getting people to register to vote...as Democrats!. The horror!
Ickes, speaking of states Obama won or is likely to win, said:
"Most of those states haven't voted Democratic in a presidential since the Johnson landslide over Goldwater in 1964, and we don't see that changing. They're great states, but Idaho, Nebraska and the Carolinas are not going to be in the Democratic column in November. He's winning the Democratic process, but that is virtually irrelevant to the general election."
This would be funny if it was coming from random bloggers, but slightly shocking (and degrading) if it was coming from people who could be credibly called "speaking for the campaign". Thankfully, Harold Ickes is simply an advisor to Clinton's campaign, so like Geraldine Ferraro, his comments can be written off as not being official.
The path to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue goes through Pennsylvania so if Barack Obama can't win there, how will he win the general election?
Well, hell, I tried. I guess it is an official message being pushed by a campaign after all so we better deal with it.
Yes, Clinton winning the Texas primary (wait, we can't say that yet) means she will win the state in November! Of course, polling says otherwise and suggests that Obama currently has the state in a tie with McCain while Clinton trails. But maybe that's just because Obama won Texas by the delegates that decide the nomination (wait, sorry, keep forgetting we can't talk about that).
But ok, let's accept that measure of reasoning seeing how history has shown it to be true (insert eye roll). Let's count numbers based upon the states that have been won (without debate or contest, which takes NV & TX (which each claim) and MI & FL off the table for now).
Hillary Clinton Electoral Votes: 180
Barack Obama Electoral Votes: 195
Please be aware that John McCain faces some problems winning the general election because Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee have now made it impossible for him to win 18 states this November by winning their primaries. His only saving grace is that he won most of the big states in the Republican primary (which does seem to raise a bit of a problem because it is my understanding that those are guaranteed Clinton states in November since she won them in the Democratic primary). Hmm. This seems to be a problem! How can both nominees win the state in the general if they won them in the primary?
It's simply absurd to suggest that your campaign may have already raised in the first 12 days of March more than your opponent raised in all of February. It would be even more absurd to make this assumption based upon simple mathematics.
At the current rate of donations received, Barack Obama will surpass 1,250,000 donations during the month of March. Assuming he has an average donation at the end of the month of $50, that would be $62,500,000. If the average donation size remains at $75, that would be $93,750,000.
Barack Obama raised $55 million in February which is more than John McCain has raised for his entire campaign to date. Breaking that record a month later will be useful to compete in all the states that Obama has not won like California, New York, New Jersey, and Ohio that McCain and Clinton have both won in their respective primaries and will both win in November.
As Austin looks to move forward into the 21st Century, we must realize that the solutions to Austin's problems aren't found in the present, but in the past.
Burnt Orange Report has always appreciated the underdog, why else would we keep endorsing Democrats over Republicans in Texas? And if there was ever an underdog in the Place one race, it's former candidate Rick Cofer.
In a city as diverse politically as Austin, it's a real shame that the entire council is made up of Democrats (certain Mayoral candidates notwithstanding). At the same time, we're not crazy enough as to endorse any real Republicans.
