28 Things Capitol Staffers May Be Doing Right Now

by: Phillip Martin

Mon Dec 01, 2008 at 11:50 AM CST

1. Having lunch.
2. Thinking about having lunch.
3. Calling around to offices to see if anyone else has any lunch.
4. Thinking about having a second lunch.
   
   
5. 2009 Calendars. Oh my, the calendars. Each office is allowed to order official State calendars, that have 12 photos inside/around the TX Capitol. The calendars can be personalized, with the Member's name, signature, and personal message. They then have to be stuffed into calendar envelopes and mailed. And despite the fact that the Rep. says (s)he wants to personally sign them all, there are still 3 stacks of them in their office that have gone untouched. The calendars are the bane of December existence.
   
   
6. Filing bills
7. Preparing to file bills
8. Calling other offices about bills that have been filed
9. Waiting to get HB 500, HB 600, HB 1000, and other easy to remember numbers for their bills
10. Avoiding the bill number HB 2292 at all costs
    
    
11. Completing one of their Capitol walks (There needs to be a profile done on the Capitol walkers -- the group of folks that take at least 2 breaks a day to walk along the edges of the entire extension (at least) to get a break from sitting on their computers. I'm thoroughly convinced these are the most informed, most connected people in the Capitol, and we know almost nothing about them. Gardner Selby: go!)
    
    
12. Answering constituent calls about utility bills
13. Answering constituent calls about X local issue
14. Avoiding that call from that special constituent that calls every day
15. Wondering why more constituents don't come by the office with a free lunch
    
    
16. Staring at the mail pile, determining if it is time to sort it already
17. Thinking if it is time to check the mail or not
18. Checking the mail, only to be disappointed at more interagency letters that no one ever reads
19. Figuring out how long a "I'm checking the mail" trip can reasonably last without anyone else wondering where you've gone off to
    
    
20. Reading Quorum Report
21. Reading Burkablog
22. Trying to determine if reading perezhilton.com will get them in trouble or not
23. Reading Burnt Orange Report
    
    
24. Seeking out those hidden bathrooms in the extension that almost no one uses and are always 10 times cleaner than any other bathroom in the Capitol
25. Finding out that a State Rep. is in there
26. Making awkward bathroom conversation with a State Rep.
27. Making more awkward bathroom conversation with a State Rep. because you walked into the women's bathroom instead of the men's
28. Deciding never to go to the bathroom again