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TX-Sen: John Cornyn's Totally Ridiculous Ad

by: Karl-Thomas Musselman

Mon Jun 16, 2008 at 05:03 PM CDT

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Titled "Big John" (overcompensating much?), this ad was created by Senator John Cornyn's staff and aired at last week's State Republican Convention in Houston.

Maybe Cornyn has a sense how ridiculous this ad looks as he was quoted by the Austin American-Stateman saying...

"My staff convinced me it was a good idea," Cornyn said. "Maybe I need a new staff."

Maybe we just need a new Senator. Support Rick Noriega.

Update: Wonkette writes a poem.

Big John Cornyn had to speak at a convention,
Oh my, what to say, with all that attention!
He queried his staff, they dwelled on the matter,
'Til finally they settled on iambic quadrameter!
"A cowboy to narrate! Some bales of hay!"
Then Cornyn responded, "but isn't that gay?"
"Nay" said his staffers, "It's rugged, and tough!
It's hard-working and white; you'll look crazy buff!"
So Cornyn agreed and they made this video,
It's shockingly gay; they thought it was witty yo!
Dear god, it's hilarious, to a cosmic degree,
'Cause this is what happens when egos run free.

P.S. Rick Noriega just passed 8000 online donors! Pile on.  

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Good production values... (2.00 / 1)
...but there's no "there" there. Also, it makes me wonder if they contacted Jimmy Dean for rights and use and what his terms were, if any (and does that count as a political contribution-- purchasing the rights from someone like Jimmy Dean is not an inexpensive proposition, and if the rights were "donated"...).

And after my "full disclosure" comment under the Tony Schwartz entry, I'd like to point out I had absolutely nothing to do with this pile of crap.

"I wonder now what Ernest Hemingway's dictionary looked like, since he got along so well with dinky words that everybody can spell and truly understand." -- Kurt Vonnegut

Hey big John, question for ya. (3.00 / 2)
I was unaware that there's a cattle ranch in Westlake?

All hat, no cattle (3.00 / 1)
Cornyn is just a grade-A horse's ass on top of a horse's ass.  Kay Hutchison gets away with the Rodeo Queen thing, but this douche-nozzle just looks like a poseur.  And believe me, this comes from a native Texan who believes all Texans have the right to western wear and saying "y'all".  

But this is just way over the edge.  That Cornyn would think this would be even remotely appealing to Texans just indicates how far out of touch he really is.

And that crap about "supporting our troops?"  Oh yeah, big John?  Put your damn vote where your big mouth is.

Cornyn just needs to ride off into the sunset.

Bad John (0.00 / 0)
May have to get rid of my Stetson. I have the same style hat. Maybe I will stick a feather in it if I keep it.

"Doing the Lord's work"? (3.00 / 4)
Such as voting against Childrens Health insurance?

I have to admit (0.00 / 0)
It made me swoon. Big John. Now if Big George can just get himself up on that big horse with Big John then the both of them can just ride that horse off into the sunset...cowboys together, forever after.

Howdy Howdy Howdy! Lookit Me! I'm a Cowboy! (0.00 / 0)
...Gary Larson cartoon.  

It's a bunch of vultures hanging around a skeleton, where one of 'em has put on the dead cowboy's clothes.  

Big Bad John would be that vulture.

Someone oughtta cut this up with pictures of his arm around Tom Delay, George Bush and Dick Cheney.  Brokeback Mountain style.  Heh.  

Howdy Doody's coming back. (0.00 / 0)
Big John Cornyn will play White Buffalo  replacing Buffalo Bob.  He's already got the jacket.
George W Bush will reprise his presidency in the title role as the wooden marionette. The former president will  trade  his bicycle Lycra ("Laura, do these make my, me, look like a big ass?") for his brush-clearing duds from the "ranch" photo-ops.

Re: The Big John commercial

Hank the Cowdog attempted to explain ranch protocol to Cornyn's staff; but they weren't listening.  Consequently, Big John's upper forehead appeared deeply sunburned, while  the rest of his head remained very white.

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