You're in Shitty Hands with Allstate
By Phillip Martin
From the Houston Chronicle:
The insurance company that bills itself "the good hands people" damaged its reputation by its conduct following the destructive passage of Hurricane Rita over Texas and Louisiana. In the face of nearly a hundred claims by people who lost access to their houses, the second-largest home insurer in Texas refused to pay up because the policyholders could not document physical damage to their property.
In addition to the Chronicle, Texas Watch has easy access to all the stories about Allstate over the past few months, including the story about the ad they ran trying to scare people into buying additional auto insurance from them. Thankfully, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott issued a cease and desist order to get Allstate to stop running the misleading advertisements.
Abbott and the Texas Department of Insurance have again ordered Allstate to do what's right, telling them they must pay out the claims they owe. Not surprisingly, Allstate will contest the order in an October 20 hearing.
Now, imagine this commercial:
Scene opens with dark images of homes knocked to the ground, with the sparks from a broken telephone wire providing the only light. Suddenly, a tall man dressed like he just walked out of an Old Navy ad emerges from behind a streetlamp. He speaks:
"You never prepare for a natural disaster. But you certainly can ignore it. When Hurricane Rita plowed through East Texas, our operators were the first ones there to hang up the phones on almost 100 Texas customers. When policyholders told us they didn't have the right paperwork, not only did we refuse to help them, but we laughed at them, mockingly, on the other end of the phone.
(Chuckling) I mean, really. You want us to just trust you?
Next time, bring the right forms. It makes it easier for us to jack up your insurance premiums and increase our profit. That's the Allstate stand.
Remember, you're in shitty hands with Allstate."
Would be a little more like the truth, wouldn't it?
Posted by Phillip Martin at October 12, 2005 02:11 PM
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Most of you are probably too young to remember the great skit that the Smothers Brothers did on tv way back when.
They glommed on to the "good hands" nonsense, showing a pair of hands dradling a house, and while the "good hands" bullshit was being uttered, the hands slowly separated and the house, with the camera following, fell to the floor with a loud crash and tinkling of broken glass. Fade out.
Revenge was swift. The Smothers were for quite a period of time non grata on all the channels, their careers really suffered.
When I was active in law, Allstate as insurer of the miscreant was the alarm signal to file a lawsuit. It was impossible, unless one was willing to sell out the client, to reach a decent settlement. Along with Members Mutual, which I think went broke, and Liberty Mutual, these were the dreded three.
