Burnt Orange Report

Funny Mondays

By Karl-Thomas Musselman

This weeks edition is more slight of hand humor. As in, no knee-slapping but some politcal ideological bitch slapping.

To start with, the report from the Statesman last Saturday on the Friday Rally at the Capitol for Marriage Equality. The Austin Coalition for Marriage Equality website is now up and running, check it out.

And I'm sure our rally down here in Texas wasn't what made Former Governor/Wrestler Jesse Ventura speak up, but it's part of the movement at large. His comments...

Former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura threw his feather boa into the gay marriage ring Monday, calling it a "cop out" for Massachusetts lawmakers to send a constitutional ban to voters. "We have a representative-style government. Represent your people and vote and stand by what you believe in," said Ventura, who as a professional wrestler was known for his flamboyant costumes. "Civil rights issues should not be put on the ballot."

Currently a fellow at Harvard University's Institute of Politics, Ventura appeared at the Statehouse alongside State Auditor Joseph DeNucci, a former boxer.

"We're two tough guys here to show support for a basic human right," DeNucci said.

Clad in jeans and sneakers and wearing a full beard and a shaggy ring of hair, Ventura asked, "How is my marriage under attack if two gays or lesbians down the street want to make a lifelong commitment to themselves?"

Ventura, a one-term governor elected on the Reform Party ticket, added: "Love is bigger than government. Think about that."

In the extended part of this entry, Funny Monday's Actually gets funny with a bit I found that will make you smirk at Right-wing hypopcracy on Homosexuals being the big threat to the sanctity of marriage.

Food for thought

Ronald Reagan - divorced the mother of two of his children to marry Nancy Reagan who bore him a daughter only 7 months after the marriage.

Bob Dole - divorced the mother of his child, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds.

Newt Gingrich - divorced his wife who was dying of cancer.

Dick Armey - House Majority Leader - divorced

Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas - divorced

Gov. John Engler of Michigan - divorced

Former Gov. Pete Wilson of California - divorced

George Will - divorced

Sen. Lauch Faircloth - divorced

Rush Limbaugh - Rush and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them.

Rep. Bob Barr of Georgia - Barr, not yet 50 years old, has been married three times. Barr had the audacity to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The current joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill is "Bob Barr...WHICH marriage are you defending?"

Sen. Alfonse D'Amato of New York - divorced

Sen. John Warner of Virginia - divorced (once married to Liz Taylor)

Gov. George Allen of Virginia - divorced

Henry Kissinger - divorced

Rep. Helen Chenoweth of Idaho - divorced

Sen. John McCain of Arizona - divorced

Rep. John Kasich of Ohio - divorced

Rep. Susan Molinari of New York - Republican National Convention Keynote Speaker - divorced

And on and on....

Don't worry about homosexuals destroying the institution of marriage. The Christian Republicans are doing a fine job without anyone's help!