Burnt Orange Report

Ninja-gate?

By Jim Dallas

A friend of mine brought to my attention the Internet Movie Database's listing for "Howard Dean", which include the governor's September appearance on Jay Leno as well as a minor role in a "B" grade ninja movie from the 1980s.

That was certainly news to us, as we were under the impression that Dean was a doctor in Vermont in 1984, not a B-movie star. It's possible it's another Howard Dean, after all -- there are at least 41 men named Howard Dean in California alone (according to Yahoo!), and at least 40 other listed Howard Deans throughout the entire country (per Switchboard).

Due to the awesome amount of data it collects, IMDB often makes mistakes, and perhaps its referring to another Howard Dean. I called the Dean for America national headquarters this morning, and while I was thanked for bringing it to their attention, I got no comment as to whether Dean was into ninjitsu.

(Movies.com also lists a Howard Dean as an actor in this movie).

Still, that didn't keep the usual band of rogues and misfits from having a little fun with this, including suggesting a new campaign slogan for the Dean campaign that might woo the crucial ninja vote:

• Howard Dean is a mammal.
  
• Howard Dean fights ALL the time.
  
• The purpose of the Howard Dean is to flip out and kill people [metaphorically].

Still, this isn't the first time that the "Dean as Ninja" meme has floated around. Consider for example the "Dean Karate School" comic that Internet Weekly Report put out a while back.

In any case, I am waiting patiently for the Dean staffers in Vermont to address the ninja issue, now that they are aware of it. Just imagine the other candidates responses to this --

Joe Lieberman: "Al Gore and I fought to get ninjas off of television."

Wesley Clark: "If he wanted to play with nun-chuks, he should have joined the Army."

John Edwards: "Not every Southerner likes ninjas. Did I mention I am the son of a mill worker?"

And so on. This could in fact be the defining issue of this election.