| eyes," Cravey said, "and when I looked into Sarah's, I think I saw her soul." After jumping to the Republican Party, Cravey will shave his head and drink only light beer.
Cravey also pledged to learn dogsledding and to enter the 2010 Iditarod. "Some people may be surprised at this, since I have never owned a dog," Cravey said, "but in North to Alaska I think John Wayne mostly rode behind the sled while the dogs were in front. Also too, I don't think you can break your ribs by falling down in the snow."
"I'm proud to bring a national folk hero like Robin the Cabdriver/lawyer to my team," Governor Palin declared. Her office also announced that the Alaska Republican Party will open an account for Cravey at Land's End so that he can buy several thousand dollars worth of plaid flannel shirts and a parka.
Cravey's 1975 tax evasion occurred when he failed to report a lavish tip received from then Senator and insurance executive Lloyd Bentsen on a trip from a downtown hotel to a television station in far north Austin on Steck Avenue. The fraud was uncovered by unindicted citizen Karl Rove, who was working as a caddy at Muny Golf Course. "It just didn't add up," Rove said. "Everyone knew Bentsen was a big tipper."
It became clear Cravey's cabinet nomination was in trouble when Senator John Cornyn bombasticated, "I am outraged to learn that despite being late in his student loan payments, Cravey spent the entire unreported windfall on a pork chop dinner at Flapjack Canyon."
In withdrawing from the cabinet nomination, Cravey had said that he wanted to spend more time with his family. After standing by his side at this new announcement, his loyal trophy wife Jane commented, "Thank goodness. I thought he was going to be hanging around the house every evening watching MSNBC."
Managing Cravey's campaign will be an informal committee co-chaired by Al "Mailbox" Stanley and David "the Godfather" Butts. Asked about his role, Butts commented, "Oh, really? Maybe that's what his voicemail was about. I haven't had a chance to call him back yet."
At the press conference, however, semi-retired political operative Mike Blizzard expressed some resentment, commenting, "Why don't I get to chair? I mean, this is Alaska, and my name is Blizzard. Come on!"
Grassroots support for Cravey has already begun with his endorsement by the Alaska Nayborhoods Council.
crossposted to www.robincravey.com |
