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Henry Paulson's Corporate Welfare Plan Stinks!


by: Matt Glazer

Sun Sep 21, 2008 at 00:57 PM CDT


The New York Times released the text of the proposed $700 billion bailout plan. It's already easy to see why wall street responded favorably and why main street needs to be concerned.

The first point of concern is two parts. One, the reason we are in this mess and why we can't trust anything John McCain says now.

It's clear Phil Gramm is a key adviser to the McCain campaign. It is also clear that Phil Gramm's bank deregulation push of the 1990's is why the sub-prime market is where it is today.  In 1999 Gramm spearheaded efforts to banking reforms that did nothing but empower the banking industry to destroy the markets.  The Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act in 1999 reduced government regulation that was created during the Great Depression and separated the banking, insurance, and brokerage sectors.

That is why Mother Jones has aptly called the mastermind of the McCain economic policy, Foreclosure Phil. (If you are concerened about the market or want to know how we got here, this is a must read.)

Who's to blame for the biggest financial catastrophe of our time? There are plenty of culprits, but one candidate for lead perp is former Sen. Phil Gramm. Eight years ago, as part of a decades-long anti-regulatory crusade, Gramm pulled a sly legislative maneuver that greased the way to the multibillion-dollar subprime meltdown. Yet has Gramm been banished from the corridors of power? Reviled as the villain who bankrupted Middle America? Hardly. Now a well-paid executive at a Swiss bank, Gramm cochairs Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign and advises the Republican candidate on economic matters. He's been mentioned as a possible Treasury secretary should McCain win. That's right: A guy who helped screw up the global financial system could end up in charge of US economic policy. Talk about a market failure.

Firedoglake has the gut reaction to Palson's plan-needless to say the Bush administration and King Henry are focusing entirely on how to help their friend on Wall Street first.

  • The money is Paulson's to use for buying commercial and residential mortgages and mortgaged backed securities as he chooses. No one has any oversight over him, and he can pay any price he wants to, including face amount of the debt.
  • Courts cannot review his decisions, not can any regulators. He has to report to Congress once every six months.
  • He gets 700 Billion dollars to use as he sees fit, looking after the taxpayer is a "consideration" not a requirement.
  • Bet on that 700 Billion dollars being gone before January 20, 2009. Bet on Treasury asking for more.
  • That is $2,324 dollars per man, woman and child in America
  • There is no bailout for mortgage holders. Banks get bailed out, but not ordinary people.
  • Banks and brokerages made record profits these last eight years. Ordinary Americans barely broke even.
  • In 2007 Wall Street paid itself bonuses equal to the raises of 80 million Americans.
  • Banks bailed out by this plan need make no changes in how they do business.
  • Banks bailed out need not replace the management which drove them into insolvency.
  • Shareholders and bondholders of such banks do not lose a cent.
  • The securities which caused this crisis are still allowed.

All this, and foreign banks can use American taxpayers money too.

U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said on Sunday that foreign banks will be able to unload bad financial assets under a $700 billion U.S. proposal aimed at restoring order during a devastating financial crisis.

"Yes, and they should. Because ... if a financial institution has business operations in the United States, hires people in the United States, if they are clogged with illiquid assets, they have the same impact on the American people as any other institution," Paulson said on ABC television's "This Week with George Stephanopolous."

While Wall Street gets bailed out in this massive increase of federal bureaucracy, what do average American's get to help them in these troubled times?  You guessed it, nothing.

USA Today is reporting that Paulsen, a former CEO of Goldman Sachs, has proclaimed "Don't add household to financial bailout".  

He expressed little interest in efforts by Democrats to include further relief for homeowners facing mortgage foreclosures, a $50 billion stimulus effort and a cap on compensation of executives at the troubled firms that will be bailed out.

Such efforts, he said, would simply slow down attempts to get a rescue package in place soon.
"The biggest help we can give the American people is to stabilize our financial system right now and prevent the system from clogging up," Paulson said.

The size of this bailout is unprecedented.  In one day we will spend almost as much money on bailing out irresponsible corporate giants as we did during the entire Iraq war.  Estimates range from $700 billion to $1.3 trillion for the entire program.  While we are spending this money, it will not ask for more oversight on what these companies are doing, it won't re-instituting any of the regulations that were in place after the Great Depression, it will not eliminate the golden parachute we had out to failed CEO's like John McCain economic advisory Carly Fiorina, and it refuses to help average people who are seeing their homes foreclosed.

This proposed bailout is bad.  Bad. Bad. Bad. The only people this is good for, are the same people that were helped out by Phil Gramm's deregulation of the banking system.  If you can honestly say you are doing better now than you were in 2000, then you should support this bailout.  If not, you should ensure that there are at least some protections for average American's in this huge taxpayer funded corporate welfare package.

Other great reads on the subject include:
Empty Wheel
Glenn Greenwald
Open Left
gjohnsit's diary on DailyKos

Update: Politico is reporting that economists are skeptical of the Paulson plan.

Many of the same economists and opinion-makers who'd provided a bipartisan sheen of consensus to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson's  previous moves have quickly begun casting doubts on the wisdom of a policy that would allow Treasury to purchase without oversight hundreds of billions of dollars of difficult-to-price assets from financial institutions.

Under the proposal, Paulson would not have to report to Congress until December, and the only safeguard for taxpayers was a provision that the "Secretary shall take into consideration means for - (1) providing stability or preventing disruption to the financial markets or banking system; and (2) protecting the taxpayer."

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Can someone run the tape where Paulson said the fundamentals were UnSound? (5.00 / 1)
Nope. I did not think so. Didnt Paulson just this week say Bush had really been a great boss and had taken good care of our economy? Yep. I will bet you bevo steaks Cornyn and Hutchinson will continue to sell Aggie Economist Stew from chef, "Foreclosure Phil" Gramm. I am waiting with baited breathe to see how our wonderful if not ethically challenged Senatorial heavyweights weigh in with Ron Paul to stop this "socialist" bank bail out. Get your popcorn kids. This is going to be a great trip. Bring Dr. LimpBaugh's snake oil pills in case we need to alter reality. What was that smear earlier in the year about "...the chickens coming home to roost...?" What irony. ROFLOL

Welcome to the oligarchy (0.00 / 0)
The history of the Bushes is the history of what really has been a slow but obviously successful move towards oligarchy which is fascist in terms of its replacement of "by the people, for the people" with "by the corporation, for the corporation" and unfortunately since Eisenhower left office just as many Democrats have supported the move as Republicans and whatever else you want to call them, they are Republicrats. RINOs and DINOs are Republicrats. They simply use the demographics of districts to determine whether they are Republicans or Democrats. They serve the corporations which fund their political careers. Their only real constituents are the lobbyists on K Street.

They hijacked the Republican Party and are hijacking the Democratic Party as well.  But the Democrats refuse to see it just as the Republicans refuse to see it. Divide and conquer.

This country has been divided and one of the primary divisions has been along partisan lines. For the most part there really is no Republican Party or Democratic Party. Just Republicans and Democrats who believe there is a Republican Party or a Democratic Party.  Eisenhower warned the American people before he left office about the "military-industrial complex" and the danger it represented to the country.  Some wonder if Kennedy did listen to the warning with regard to what was unfolding in Viet Nam and was assassiinated because he represented a threat to what was already the beginning of an oligarchy built upon the very military-industrial complex Eisenhower warned everyone about.  It is easy to blame the Republicans for the unbridled power Halliburton has been given but reality is the Democrats gave it to them.  LBJ became rich off Halliburton and the Viet Nam War. Reality is reality. And that is reality.

The one hope for this country is Barack Obama because he has not been in office long enough to have been bought by "the corporation" which now rules this country.

And yet poll after poll after poll indicates that the "hard working whites" will not support him and will vote for John McCain.  Democrats. Who will allow prejudice to determine their future.  Which will not be a good one under John McCain or the Republican Party.

Oligarchy cannot exist with a middle class unless the middle class is a worker class. Anyone who doesn't understand what oligarchy is needs to study the history of Mexico.  It is a classic oligarchy.  There are ruling families who control it all and then a middle class which is really a worker class which works for the ruling families. And then there is a class that for all intents and purposes simply doesn't exist at all which is why millions have come to this country illegally in search of jobs and some sense of hope for their future. What we refer to as the poor or lower class which depends on the government to some degree to provide for them.  But we take care of our poor. Mexico does not.

These Democrats who believe John McCain is a better choice than Barack Obama because Barack Obama is an African-American, how he is perceived despite his being mixed-race although for some that is even worse, should ask themselves where they will emigrate illegally when they no longer have jobs and no longer have a government to provide for them. Which is what is coming.

People like to say "this could never happen here" and yet in the past eight years so much has happened that no one thought could ever happen here.  And it will get worse if John McCain becomes president.

What happened on Wall Street the past week is not an indication of a collapsing economy so much as it is an indication of how the market is manipulated to give the appearance of a collapsing economy. Quite a few have made fortunes the past year on Wall Street selling large enough shares of stock at a high price and setting off a market sell as a result which allows them to buy back the stock at a lower price. And in some cases doing so having made enormous profit. And anyone who thinks the SEC would not allow it apparently has not followed what has been happening in this country since Enron collapsed.  

Enron wasn't really bankrupt. Everyone was just led to believe that it was.  


Some business basics need to be applied here (0.00 / 0)
I'm sorry but I can't follow or agree with your position here. Most of it appears to be rhetoric with no business fundamentals applied. I don't think even the most clever business professionals could engineer some of the schemes you imply.

You said:

What happened on Wall Street the past week is not an indication of a collapsing economy so much as it is an indication of how the market is manipulated to give the appearance of a collapsing economy. Quite a few have made fortunes the past year on Wall Street selling large enough shares of stock at a high price and setting off a market sell as a result which allows them to buy back the stock at a lower price. And in some cases doing so having made enormous profit. And anyone who thinks the SEC would not allow it apparently has not followed what has been happening in this country since Enron collapsed.

In reality what happened last week on Wall Street was a credit system at capacity filled with a lot of bad loans as a result of the subprime debacle. Without sufficient capitalization the credit system would have gridlocked and various forms of credit would cease to have existed. The US has become so dependent on credit that it would be worse than the energy crisis. There was no scheme to deflate stock prices so firms could back them back at discounted rates. That's just not how the market works I hate to inform you. Maybe you need to reread Adam Smith again (or maybe read him for the first time).

Without federal intervention the US and world economy would have started a stagnation and potential collapse if left as it was. I don't like the intervention any more than others but it was necessary. What I dislike even more is how it's being sold to Congress with little oversight or management. No one is being held accountable for the problems. Paulson claims the need for quick action as a reason for absence of accountability measures, a typical tactic of the Bush administration (they seem to have a common playbook in his cabinet).

I agree with Paulson that the regulatory environment needs overhauling. I disagree with him on what an overhaul means. Much of the problems we have in our financial system are a result of financial innovations with no oversight. As an employee of the financial services sector I was in support of some of the Gramm-Leach-Bliley FSMA which led to many new financial systems. The problem with the legislation is that it left too much latitude in the market. Derivative instruments were created with some of the wildest notions of success. Innovation is good except when it is backed by the finances of Main Street. You want to reduce risk as much as possible in case the innovation goes bad. Without some mitigation people's savings and credit are adversely affected.

I'm hoping Obama's financial advisory team understands these issues well and takes action to correct them during his administration. Bush's lack of economic knowledge allowed him to be snowed by a bad administration. I don't think Bush even had a clue as to what was going on. It's pretty evident in recent press conferences where he appears as a deer in headlights when asked about the situation. McCain is in the same boat and his team seems to be pretty clueless also. They backtracked so quickly on his fundamentals statement last week they almost ran over each other in the process.

We're not even close to being out of the woods yet. The assets the government is purchasing are probably overvalued so the chances of us recovering what is being put in to secure them are slim at best. Proper valuation could lead to even more bankruptcies which we don't need right now. That's not a good thing but it may be best to let them lie for now and see how the market rebounds.


[ Parent ]
Depends on your definition of Reality I guess?? (0.00 / 0)
I rather believe the lack of trust between various banking entities, who had guaranteed debts but had not actually capitalized their insurance policies, had much more to do with the credit crisis. Now the hurricane hits and those hand shakes and funny commercials are meaningless. But I tend to oversimplify everything. Bottom line is greed and corruption. Now the smartest boys in the room dont trust the smart boys in the other room. But I have no plans to continue to be their victim or ATM. No blank checks. Not this time. Man up.

This nation's middle class and the upper class have been playing poker with the economy and politics since the 1970's. Lots of folks cashed in and made bundles without thought to anyone else but their portfolio. All those Bush/Cheney/McCain/Country Club First folks deserve the full benefit of their free market. If we are going to "socialize" their losses, then let's "socialize" their profits.

Oh. And please no Adam Smith. Not today. Not even this election. Unless we want to talk about perversion of the justice system. Hey, I didnt interject politics into the justice system that was Rove and company with the Gonzo sock puppet. As Butch told Harvey,"This is a knife fight. There are no rules!" and no blank checks. (but I start to repeat myself.)


[ Parent ]
You're incorrect (0.00 / 0)
Matt's not a financial writer and he doesn't work in the industry. However, he's actually pretty accurate on short selling even if he's not clear on the terminology.

This has been going on for 18 months. Hell, I piled onto a couple of companies including New Century. However, there aren't any NC's left. Now we're cutting into bone and the shorts are in full control.

STILL, that's what is going on and it's a part of all this mess with the IB's. Take down a company's equity dramatically and watch as their access to CP dries up or gets ruinously expensive. Even better, watch them get frozen by counterparties unwilling to take their trades. In this environment, it doesn't take much.

This ISN'T because of SP. This is because investors bought all manner of opaque instruments and paid hefty premiums for them. Worse, some of these issues were 'credit enhanced' with CDS and now people are learning that that 'enhancement' is only worth the financial strength of the party effectively writing the policy. People tend to get really nervous buying something if they've been burned by a similar instrument in the past.

Now, investors view everything as radwaste. Hell, they've even been adding premium to Agency paper and those typically represent very strong credits.

Bear, at the end of this GLB FAILED miserably because the market did not self regulate. The players got so intertwined that ANY disruption to one had repercussions for all.

No blank check, reinstitute regulation and beef up enforcement. You're


[ Parent ]
Wasn't commenting on Matt's point (0.00 / 0)
Check indentation of comment. I was commenting on Baby Snooks view of the issues, not Matt's.

I agree that the markets have started to stagnate (your point through all the double speak and acronyms). Regarding self regulation I think we would have learned from the S&L debacle that financial markets cannot adequately self regulate (does RTC ring a bell?). I think we agree on that.

Blank check is not the solution but some check is necessary or this economy will be in complete shambles when the next president inherits it in 2009. Paulson is using the same tactics that Bush used for the Iraq war to allow Treasury clean this up without any questions asked or oversight. Which institutions get bailed, what assets get bought, how the assets are disposed of - all of those aspects will be taken care of by Treasury with no questions asked.

It was good to see the last two major investment banks (IBs) were transformed into bank holding companies last night subject to more regulation and oversight. Hopefully we'll now have a little more sanity in the markets. Of course they had to do that to allow them to participate in the bailout.


[ Parent ]
I know... (0.00 / 0)
but it's hard thinking of GS as 'bank'. It's still hard for me to think of them as a public company:)

I think I came across as rude and that wasn't my intention. Sorry about that and about missing that you were commenting on BS.

Your self regulation comment actually made me laugh a little. Yes, we do agree on it. What's making me laugh is McCain talking about a bipartisan commission.

Which I think would be a great idea as soon as you can find a Republican elected who has some credibility left.


[ Parent ]
Please (0.00 / 0)
"Which I think would be a great idea as soon as you can find a Republican elected who has some credibility left."

There are none. And I hope every Democratic woman who voted for Kay Bailey Hutchison in 2006 remembers that they voted for her instead of Barbara Radnofsky. Because Kay was "one of them."  Which makes you wonder if perhaps she's not.

Anyone who would dare to imply that any Republican at this point has any credibility is obviously as morally corrupt as the Republicans are.


[ Parent ]
Interesting to see how this is evolving (0.00 / 0)
Hey it's great to have the thought provoking discussion. You were "passionate" in your comment, something I tend to become also. It's all good and great to have some more thoughts on the subject.

What I have found interesting today is to see Bush staunchly defend Paulson's plan without change. It kind of reminds me of his Iraq war and wiretapping positions. I almost think he has no clue and just runs from a standard playbook of the administration.

The interesting part is that he has no political capital to hold that position now (along the lines of your Republican credibility comment). With only four months left in his administration and both candidates coming out in support of oversight he's almost a non-existent voice in this discussion. In fact, this may define the effectiveness of his post-presidency. I think we can consider him swept aside in the Republican party on this issue.

We need to act quickly but prudently. Bill Kristol wrote in today's NYT Opinion section that the "sky is falling" attitude should be put aside and allow some reasonable debate and changes to the bailout. Just as after 9/11 when anyone opposed to Bush was considered not in support of the country we'll see how many congressional leaders have enough fortitude to stand up to the administration. I think we may have a few more this time.


[ Parent ]
Too passionate at times... (0.00 / 0)
I at times become obnoxious about what has happened to this country. Worse than the acquiescence of some, Nancy Pelosi in particular, is the silence of so many who say nothing. People really refuse to even see the dots let alone connect them. Far more was hijacked on 9/11 than just our planes.

Rumor was the Rothschilds were behind the creation of the Federal Reserve. They are still part of it albeit behind interest in several of the banks.  I suspect they are selling their interest in those banks.  Not to cause a run on the bank but merely to protect themselves.

Mayer Rothschild once stated that as long as he controlled a nation's currency, he didn't care who made its laws. Because of course economy knows no law and when left alone does self-regulate even when it's manipulated.

Alan Greenspan controlled our currency through four administrations but the problem was he didn't know how to control the currency and instead formulated economic policy based on the insanity of the neo-conservatives.

We are on the Titanic.  Everyone in steerage has drowned while everyone in peerage is oblivious to the tilting of the decks as the band plays on as they sip their champagne marveling at how even an iceberg cannot sink the Titanic.

What would Mayer Rothschild do?  Let the brokerages and banks collapse. And then buy them back for five cents on the dollar and then recapitalize them with his own cash, something people forget once existed, and recapitalize the economy in the process.  His sons were the first to manipulate markets. His sons were also the first venture capitalists.  And he, and they, never believed in borrowing a dime for anything.  The wisdom of the Rothschilds.  

The best thing that could happen to this country is for the Rothschilds to start buying up the banks as they collapse. And they will start collapsing. There is not one Rothschild bank in trouble. And there never will be.

They must know what they're doing.  While hidden behind a maze of international interests and corporations, the family wealth is nonetheless estimated to be at least $10 trillion. One of the Rothschilds was asked once how much he was worth. He pulled out his wallet and had approximately $500 in his wallet. Everyone enjoyed the wit. No one caught the wisdom. If the House of Rothschild were somehow wiped out, he was worth $500.

How much do you have in your wallet?



[ Parent ]
Short selling suspended (0.00 / 0)
BTW, regarding both you and Baby Snooks, short selling was suspended last week by the SEC on almost 800 financial service stocks.

[ Parent ]
It's a scam (0.00 / 0)
http://www.independent.co.uk/n...

What is going on is nothing more than a scam being perpetrated on the American taxpayer.

We have a deregulated market, deregulated in great part because of Bill Clinton, which has proven a total disaster unless you are an insider and know what to trade and when to trade it. Sell high, start a run, and then buy it back real low. That is the most proven of all economic theories. The Rothschild theory. The problem is the Rothschilds knew what they were doing and built economies along with their personal fortune.  The Rothschild wannabes in the White House and on Wall Street are only interestedin building their personal fortunes. And to hell with the economy. By the corporation, for the corporation doesn't cut it anymore for most Americans. Whether they're Republican or Democrat.  Apparently you are not representative of most Americans who would be told "too bad" if they became insolvent.  Let the corporations eat cake. The rest of us are eating it. Because of them.


[ Parent ]
Additional controls (0.00 / 0)
The article you refer to references the bonuses that many of these investment banks have set aside to benefit their top employees and executives. I agree with you that these should not be paid out since those folks were the ones who should have been the adults minding the store but failed.

Regarding market mechanics I don't think anyone can "engineer" such a sell and buy scheme you elude to in this complex a market. But then again, I'm not going to convince you otherwise. You've already taken the victim attitude on this issue.


[ Parent ]
Well the SEC thought something was going on... (0.00 / 0)
The SEC didn't just suddenly decide to suspend short selling. They suddenly decided to suspend short selling to save the few after the many had raped them.

If these instituions are insolvent, let them collapse or let someone else other than the taxpayer pay to keep them afloat. They used to just borrow from the banks at low interest rates to keep afloat. That right there sums up the solvency of our banking system. The crooks can no longer borrow from the banks so they want to borrow from the government and let the taxpayers pay back the loan. Of course now the brokerages will become commercial banks. So they can go back to borrowing from the banks. And now just borrow from themselves. And then borrow more money from the government when they become insolvent again. Which apparently to you is sound economic theory. Only a Republican would believe that is sound economic theory.  


[ Parent ]
There was something going on... (0.00 / 0)
...because there were tens of thousands of people shorting millions and millions of shares (I know; I was one of them), not some lone, fictional Gordon Gekko commanding the universe from behind a single computer screen.

The markets, with as much liquidity as they have, are pretty impervious to lone wolf attacks.

"I wonder now what Ernest Hemingway's dictionary looked like, since he got along so well with dinky words that everybody can spell and truly understand." -- Kurt Vonnegut


[ Parent ]
Of course there was... (0.00 / 0)
The activity is what forced the SEC to suspend short sales and while you may find it comforting to believe that there were no lone wolves, there were. When someone starts selling large blocks of stocks, others panic and start sellling theirs as well. That is one very basic economic principle by which many operate in order to maintain their personal economy. With total disregard for everyone else's.



[ Parent ]
The bailout of foreign banks... (0.00 / 0)
...is one aspect of the plan that's getting some traction-- and that's really sticking in my craw.

The argument goes that banks like RBS and Barclays employ tens of thousands of employees here in the states and failing to protect the foreign banks will put jobs and reputations in jeopardy here in the U.S.. That's true enough.

What they fail to point out, however, is that our own homegrown banks also employ tens of thousands of employees overseas; foreign national jobs and reputations that would be at stake if U.S. banks failed. Our bailout efforts with U.S. banks will directly assist foreign unemployment rates.

I don't see foreign sovereigns jumping in to lend a hand in an effort to protect their citizens employment in U.S. banks overseas branches. Why should the inverse be true, particularly when it will add to an already astronomical price tag?

To me, that portion-- the overseas banking portion-- of the bailout that's been floated reeks of being an international money grab.

And I don't like it.

"I wonder now what Ernest Hemingway's dictionary looked like, since he got along so well with dinky words that everybody can spell and truly understand." -- Kurt Vonnegut


I should add... (0.00 / 0)
...that one quote I heard from a representative of a foreign bank was, "If the U.S. doesn't assist foreign banks, there will be a pull-out and what foreign bank would want to do business in the U.S. ever again?"

That is completely laughable.

"I wonder now what Ernest Hemingway's dictionary looked like, since he got along so well with dinky words that everybody can spell and truly understand." -- Kurt Vonnegut


[ Parent ]
More than laughable... (0.00 / 0)
Such a statement is ludicrous because our entire economic system is intertwined which goes back to Congress and its absolute acquiescence to what lobbyists want rather than what is in the best interests of the American people.

Some countries would like to "call in the loans" but unfortunately their economies would collapse as well.

So much for "neo-conservatism" and the "new world order" which has become the new world disorder.


[ Parent ]
Foreign investments (0.00 / 0)
It is interesting to see how this is playing out in the global economic space. They do run a similar risk and other countries are doing what they can to keep them afloat. HBOS received approval to be acquired by Lloyds TSB last week giving the parent bank a 33% share of all deposit accounts and mortgages in the UK, a very dangerous position. The current max position a US bank can have with accounts is 10%, which BofA is at right now. That is designed to avoid taking the whole system down.

I'm afraid some compromises are being made that will have long term implications as this continues to unfold. The issue is that I don't think any elected official has enough political capital or intelligence to unravel this mess safely.

What is even worse is the cross-market implications this crisis is having for no good reason. The oil market has been using about every known excuse to raise the price of oil. Next thing you know we'll see $10-15 jumps in the price because Britney Spears got a sunburn and may not be able to work.


[ Parent ]
The Nigerians Have Nothing on U.S. (0.00 / 0)
Your Urgent Help Needed
Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

"I wonder now what Ernest Hemingway's dictionary looked like, since he got along so well with dinky words that everybody can spell and truly understand." -- Kurt Vonnegut


Great comment! (0.00 / 0)
Mack that'd be a great e-mail to send around to friends except that it would set off the spam alerts and probably get your e-mail blocked. The tone is exactly what seems to be the case in this situation.

It's fortunate that Paulson has backed off his oversight ban. It's unfortunate he still clings to saving the bonuses of his Wall Street buddies with claims that their institutions wouldn't participate. What's this about? Their salaries or the fate of their banks and the American homeowner? Has he lost touch that much with reality? That was probably the stupidest statement he's made today.


[ Parent ]
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