For those who have been following Ted Cruz, it should come as no surprise that he has a rather challenging relationship with reality. He was named Politifact’s biggest liar in both 2013 and 2014, no small feat, given his Republican competition. But that difficulty understanding reality isn’t just about facts. It is becoming increasingly apparent from Ted Cruz’s stump speeches that he is peddling a fictitious version of how the presidency actually works.
The latest example came this week, when Ted Cruz skipped President Obama’s final State of the Union speech to give a State of the Union of his own. On Tuesday in New Hampshire, Ted Cruz delivered a fake State of the Union to detail the fake accomplishments his fake presidency will have achieved in 2018. And those fake accomplishments are absolutely nuts.
Ted Cruz believes that by 2018, just one year into his fake presidency, he will have destroyed the IRS, Obamacare, ISIS, and the Iran nuclear deal. The IRS, a federal agency over 150 years old, will be abolished so quickly into Cruz’s fake presidency that “months” will pass until the Cruz administration has “finally auctioned off the IRS building to the public,” selling it to Donald Trump so that he can build a new Trump Hotel where the building used to stand. Instead of the IRS, we’ll have a regressive flat tax that fits on a post card. That fake tax will be plenty sufficient to fund Ted Cruz’s fake military campaign that has destroyed ISIS, because Ted Cruz says it will.
As for Obamacare: we know that 50+ repeal votes have been unsuccessful over the past six years, and there have been no real Republican proposals to replace it. But that means nothing to Cruz, because he’ll not only have the Affordable Care Act repealed, he’ll have it replaced within a year. Those 18 million people who have gained health insurance coverage under the ACA? They’ll be even more satisfied under Cruz’s fake plan, because Ted Cruz says they will.
Meanwhile, in a fake Ted Cruz presidency, ISIS will be obliterated within a year. You may ask, “How will Ted Cruz solve a complex geopolitical crisis, that took years to develop, within 12 months?” And that would be a good question. It’s also one that Ted Cruz doesn’t have to answer because this is a fake presidency, so things will happen the way he says they will without concern for facts.
Other fake accomplishments to expect from a fake Ted Cruz presidency: a nearly 2,000-mile fake wall will be completely built along the border between the US and Mexico, graciously financed by Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton will be imprisoned for an unspecified, fake crime. You don’t need to know how or why these things will happen, just that they will because Ted Cruz says they will. (Is the picture becoming clear yet?)
These are just a few of the fake things that Ted Cruz expects will be done within the first year of his fake presidency, things that he will boast about during his fake 2018 State of the Union. Perhaps if he’d spent Tuesday at the actual State of the Union, he would have gained some insight into how the real presidency works — insight he could use if he were to be elected president. But as we have seen time and time again, a Ted Cruz presidency is not grounded in facts.
Being aspirational about your goals is one thing. Plenty of presidential candidates outline ambitious goals during their campaigns that are then tempered by the reality of the office. A good presidential candidate won’t just offer goals, they’ll provide a plan for the policies they’d like to propose as a path toward those goals. But not Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz is all hyperbole and no substance. He expects you to believe that he’ll fundamentally change years, decades, and sometimes centuries, of federal policy within 12 months, without a plan, just because he says so — facts be damned. And that fundamental disconnect with the truth is why Ted Cruz’s fake presidency will stay just that, and never become a reality.