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Friday Wrap: Chuck Norris's Governor Endorsement, the Spanish Inquisition Apology, and More...

by: Burnt Orange Report

Fri Feb 14, 2014 at 05:00 PM CST

It's Friday! Time for your Burnt Orange Reporters to comment on all the news that fits in a blockquote.

Let's not delay, the best thing that happened this week was a mashup video of an old Evgeni Plushenko figure skating routine... set to Ginuwine's Pony.

Below the jump, read about the San Antonio Zoo's terrible treatment of elephants, David Dewhurst's debt, and other, less alliterative, blurbs...

Last month, In Defense of Animals named the San Antonio Zoo the worst zoo for elephants in North America. The zoo holds one elephants, Lucky, in an enclosure that many deem too small for her. American Zoo Association standards state elephants must be kept  in family groups of at least three, but San Antonio has been granted a waiver. Instead of investing in renovating and expanding their elephant exhibit, the zoo is spending $8 million this year on a "Zootenial Plaza" complete with a carousel to celebrate the zoos one hundredth anniversary.

Other Texas zoos, Dallas and Houston, have radically expanded their elephant enclosures in the last five years, and in Dallas' case have dedicated their exhibit to only house retired, non-breeding females. Many other zoos such as Columbus, Birmingham, Oklahoma City, and Los Angeles have also recently renovated their elephant enclosures or are in the process of doing so.

The San Antonio Zoo easily deserves the title of worst zoo in North America for elephants.

In other Texas elephant news, Houston Zoo celebrated the birth of a male calf, Duncan, just after 2 am on February 9. Duncan recently explored his exhibit and will be the 8th asian elephant to live at Houston. He joins bull Thai (the father), cows Shanti (the mother), Methai, and Tess, as well as juvenile Tucker, and calves Baylor and Tupelo.

Two days prior, a baby male giraffe was also born at the Houston Zoo.

-Joseph Vogas


This NY Times feature on giant slalom is pretty phenomenal.

-Katherine Haenschen


Chuck Norris doesn't endorse politicians, politicians endorse Chuck Norris. Except earlier this week the faux Texas Ranger sent an email on behalf of Greg Abbott reminding voters that, "ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories."

-Joe Deshotel


The Dew is still in debt.

-Katherine Haenschen


No one expects the Spanish Inquisition...to apologize. Yes, over five hundred years later, Spain is considering a bill that would grant citizenship to the descendants of Jews who were expelled from the country in 1492.

-Katie Singh


Still unsure about whether your birth control is free under the Affordable Care Act? Writer Anna Brewslaw got together with the fine folks of Planned Parenthood to create this handy dandy flow chart to help you figure it out.

-Genevieve Cato

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