Massive coloring books. Ted Cruz. Conservative indoctrination. Holidays. These factors have all come together for one amazing gag gift. Of course, the “Ted Cruz to the Future – Comic Coloring Activity Book” is taken very seriously by the “nonpartisan” owners of Really Big Coloring Books, but the country has been laughing at the whole thing since Monday.
According to the company, the book is “a non-partisan, fact-driven view of how Texas Sen. Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz became a U.S. senator and details, through his quotes and public information his ideas for what he believes will help America grow.” And they weren't joking about the size of their coloring books — it stands at two feet tall.
The nonpartisan smarties at RBCB have chosen Cruz because he “has openly identifies with the Tea Party and garners support from the Republican Liberty Caucus and many independents including democrats”. If you can decipher that, it means they're lying and would like your kiddos to jump on that anti-progress train early. Coloring-book stage early. While pressing crayons in closed fists to the pages, kids will learn how Cruz's long speech this fall “was so important because millions of citizens believe Obama Care is worse than any war. At least American soldiers have weapons with which to defend themselves.”
ThinkProgress has a great rundown of the book's content.
Truly the perfect gag gift, right? Below the jump, read the best tweets about the jejune tome.
Yes, this Ted Cruz coloring book is real. If you use any color other than red, white and blue, you're a terrorist. pic.twitter.com/LHuN4unOdW
— Dave Rubin (@RubinReport) December 9, 2013
There's Now A Coloring Book To Teach Your Children To Love Ted Cruz http://t.co/pAAKyZxcau Bag O' Glass's long reign as worst present ends.
— Matt Duss (@mattduss) December 9, 2013
What color is a government shutdown? | Sen. Ted Cruz gets a coloring book http://t.co/CCPCt6gqfh
— Vaughn Sterling (@vplus) December 9, 2013
And here's The Young Turks having oodles of fun about it: