Looking to start your holiday shopping today? Well consider some of the more clever Democratic merchandise! These are perfect gifts for your progressive relatives and friends. And you don't even have to get up at 4:00 a.m. and bust some doors to get them.
The Joe Biden Coozy
 As The President himself Tweeted, if you need to keep your canned beverage cold, Joe Biden's got you covered. Yes, everyone's favorite #2 in command and The Onion cover boy now graces his own official can holder. Best of all, they're made in the USA! Add some local Texas beer and you've got a gift we can believe in.
Not a drinker, or maybe while working at the Capitol you prefer to hide your booze in a mug? Then the VP's "Cup of Joe" should fix you right up as well. |
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Rock Me Like a Herman Cain Tote Bags
 Produced by friend of BOR Christina Gomez, these totes poll higher than the Godfather's Pizza man, and to date no women have alleged sexual harassment against the stylish 100% cotton canvass bag. (Though apparently the pint glass that is also available emblazoned with the logo has retained Gloria Allred.) The white tee is priced at one-nine-nine-nine, which is basically like Herman Cain's tax plan, except it won't raise taxes on the middle class. Ladies can sport the feminine tee, which is so alluring that you'd better stay away from the National Restaurant Association if you don't want to be propositioned before being offered a job!
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Mitt Romney's Temporary Little Band Aids
 In a recent Republican debate, millionaire Mitt Romney said President Obama's proposal to cut payroll taxes for the middle class -- which amounts to about $1500 in extra money for the average American family -- was nothing but a "temporary little Band-Aid."
If you, like Mitt, think $1,500 is pocket change, then for a donation of that amount the DNC will send you your own box of Mitt's Temporary Little Band Aids. As they write on their website, "if you, like Romney, can forgo the money for four months of groceries, seven months of gasoline, or a full year's electricity bill, we're pleased to offer a box of Mitt Romney-brand Temporary Little Band-Aids, helpfully priced by Romney himself at $1,500."
Or, if you're in the 99% like the rest of us, you can apply a lot of pressure and a piece of paper towel until the bleeding stops, possibly some duct tape, and hope you don't need stitches since your insurance charges a huge co-pay for ER visits. |
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Finally, if you want to buy "normal" gifts or something, the TDP has set up a "Shop Blue" program, where a portion of your purchases go back to fund the TDP. There are a huge number of stores available.
So even if you don't enjoy the half-million dollar line of credit Newt Gingrich has at Tiffany's, you can still get your nearest and dearest Democrats a nice gift this year. |
