Governor, lately you've been pitching, twitching and puffing a lot of hot air about secession.
Texas is a real unique place all right and the Governor is a major contributor to its uniqueness.
Come on Governor, put your money where your mouth is. Just do it. Leave already. You can take all of your worshipers, i.e. secessionists, teabaggers, Birchers, birthers, racists and xenophobes with you.
Hit the road dude.
Leave, dude. Voters are the meanest old women you will have ever seen. You won't be packing any of our money with you when you leave, either.
But you can, Sir, help yourself to all of the creationism, witchcraft and voodoo science text books that you and your supporters put in our schools in yet another endless crusade of right wing conservative efforts to dumb down the children of Texas.
I'm sure you all will find a cozy place to establish a new Republic, Governor. Hell, Sir, you could name your new territory the New Republic of Teabagistan, Secessistan or Birchistan in honor of your strongest supporters. Below is a little reminder to help you sort out the guiding principles of your new Republic.
This would be a perfect time for you to leave Governor. After all, Bill White, Houston's former and very popular mayor raised $2.2 million last month. So far he has over $9 mil in his war chest.
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Meanwhile back here in the real Texas that most of know, we ain't going anywhere. You see, Governor, we seriously like having a U.S. military to protect us and we especially love our National Guard and Border Patrol agents. We also have a thing for ICE, Homeland Security, a police force and fire fighters. Without most of the above Texas would be overrun by Mexican drug cartels in a New York nanosecond. You of all people should know this, Governor.
We also take serious comfort knowing that Texas is guided by laws and not dictators.
Whoops. I think we can all agree that W. blew off former President and General Eisenhower's message.
It seems that G.W. Bush and Rick Perry share a big world of narcissistic arrogance in common.
We really, really love elections, too, Governor, so we can get rid of wannabe dictators just like you. We especially adore term limits and we are really fond of democracy and the democratic process.
We seriously love our right to vote.
So, Republicans do not believe in democracy? No kidding.
In real Texas, we want to keep all of our top notch hospitals, universities, medical schools and research institutions, all of whose excellence is in no small part due to federal grants and funding. We also want to keep the companies that receive federal contracts. And we really appreciate the $12,351,370,000 in federal stimulus funding that has and will continue to come to Texas. By the way, Senator Hutchison, also a Republican candidate for the gubernatorial primary race, voted against the stimulus bill and yet she behaves as if she personally brought it to Texas. Maybe she ought to join Rick Perry and secede herself, too.
It sure is nice not to have to obtain passports and visas to visit relatives in other states.
We feel secure knowing that our airports have measures in place that protect us and our national security.
We like something called government infrastructure and local governments that keep services up and running in our cities and towns.
We adore our federal social security benefits and we really have some serious love for our Medicare benefits. As far as Medicare is concerned, some Texans have never had it so good. At least that is what my retired Republican neighbors tell me. They want to stay here in real Texas.
The jobless in Texas would have really like to have been given the option of extended federal unemployment benefits. You, Governor, turned your back on the down and out.
I am sure most are seriously OK with your riding off into the sunset.
The economically disadvantaged want to hold on to their Medicaid and health insurance for their children. They want to stay, too, Governor. What kind of life could they expect in a land where they would have no federal safety net at all? Would they be shipped off to third world slave/work camps while their children are thrown into orphanages or sold to sex slave traders?
Adios Governor, secessionists, teabaggers, Birchers, birthers, xenophobes, racists and political charlatans and snake oil dealers. It's been real fun knowing ya and don't let the door hit y'all's butts on the way out. Be careful of those drug cartels if you happen to head south. There are some really mean folks with pretty serious guns there.