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January 06, 2005

Let Me Bump Up Our Ashlee Simpson Traffic...

By Andrew Dobbs

Interestingly enough, I used to go to the same church as Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, as they are from Richardson, TX. I never knew them, but interestingly enough their father was a pastor there (the youth minister) and he baptized me when I was 16.

That's right- the man who sired two emptyheaded sexpots who use foul language on national television was the minister who baptized me. That explains why I despise them so much- while I am certainly not a pure person, I expect those called by God to the ministry to be (as much as is possible) and when a minister who was an integral part of one of the most important decisions of my entire life turns his back on those ethics in order to personally profit off his own daughters' sexuality ("Rev." Joe Simpson is their father and manager), I take offense.

So go Orange Bowl attendees for booing Ashlee Simpson. Perhaps this turn for the worse in her career will convince her Dad of the error of his ways.

Posted by Andrew Dobbs at January 6, 2005 05:44 PM | TrackBack

Comments

andrew, you are going to love this quote by joe simpson (he's talking about his daughter's breasts). he sounds like a real lech to me.

Posted by: anna at January 6, 2005 05:57 PM

oh my god, i'm sorry, i just found another choice joe simpson quote. go ahead, read it and laugh.

Posted by: anna at January 6, 2005 05:58 PM

ok wait, maybe that second one was a joke. still made me laugh, though.

Posted by: anna at January 6, 2005 05:59 PM

I'm not going to defend Herr Simpson or anything, but people of all sorts get called to ministry. My wife is a first-career seminarian who is a wonderful person and no one's the wiser. She did lose an entire semester during college to vodka, but she's past that now. One of her classmates has a handmade tattoo of his fraternity letters on the inside of one of his ankles. The church where he's been interning, by the way, loves him and just offered him a paid position. Another student here is a recovering alcholic and ex-con. The guy is funny as anyone, damn friendly, and he can organize a moving job better than anyone I've ever met. Living on the campus may give me a unique perspective, but expecting your pastors to be pure is asking a little too much of any person, don't you think?

Posted by: Jacob at January 6, 2005 10:15 PM

Jacob - I don't think we are asking pastors to be "pure", as you put it. But the fact is that Rev. Joe Simpson, a Baptist minister, now earns a substantial income promoting and profiting off of his daughters. Personally, from what little I've seen (which is too much) they strike me as personifying exactly the kind of "cultural coarsening" that the Religious Right bleats so damned much about. Now he may not be pure, but he sure as hell is a hypocrite. And it is certainly fair of us to notice that and say so....

Posted by: Dennis at January 7, 2005 04:21 AM

Andrew, don't you think your being harsh, especially if your so connected to your religion, or as least is sounds that way.
And if you are, people who are highly connected to their religion, are usually taught not to be envious, and not to get off on someone else's failure, and to love thy neighbor, and not to kick them when their down.
And what does managing your daughters careers have to do with religion, since when is it a sin?
You really have nothing to be offended by, really. Everyone is entitled to a career change, even ministers, priest and nuns, believe it or not, and just because you literally stop working for the Higher Power , doesn't mean you stop having faith or stop serving the Higher Power.
To me, you sound highly bitter. You sound like you have some searching to do.
In general people shouldn't despise, be jealous or envious, it's doesn't do anything for them, It's a waste of energy and time, intuen it may make you bitter, Andrew.
Thanks

Posted by: Melissa at January 7, 2005 09:13 AM

Minister or not, a father publicly commenting on the sexiness of his daughter's breasts is just unseemly. Then there are those who actively oppose the Simpson gals for their absence of talent.

Posted by: KCB at January 7, 2005 09:15 AM

Maybe you can get your money back on the whole baptismal thing?

Posted by: Dude at January 7, 2005 10:11 AM

Dennis--

Like I said, I've got no love for the Simpson sisters or their father, and I do think what he said is more than a little...creepy may be the best word. I'm also all about pointing out hypocrisy, especially when it comes to the Religious Right (hell, that's what my master's thesis is on).

My issue was with the language in the post, which did call for clergy to be "pure", not just consistent. He's a hypocrite, but not because he's ordained.

As a side note on the RR's hypocrisy, I love the fact that Liberty Univ. (Falwell's school) gives students demerits and fines for seeing R-rated movies. The easy laugh there is the "Liberty" moniker, but I think the better fun is to be had when you realize The Passion is rated R. Did anyone get fined for that one, I wonder?

Posted by: Jacob at January 7, 2005 11:19 AM

Actually, let me revise for a second...

I think what bothered me about the post/comment was the assumption that, because he was a minister, he joined in the RR's hectoring. Ministers aren't "pure" nor are they conservative. A surprising number of clergy tends liberal. Granted, certain denominations are more likely to employ politically conservative clergy, and the Southern Baptist Convention is one of those. At the same time, the SBC's trend towards fundamentalism and hyper-conservatism is fairly new.

I'm going to rescind my acknowledgment of Joe Simpson's hypocrisy, because as far as I know he's not the guy who bleated about cultural coarsening and I don't think his former status as a minister says anything about his cultural/political views. He's still pretty damn creepy though.

Posted by: Jacob at January 7, 2005 11:36 AM

Urrrrggghh ... The Simpsons [Joe-Jessica-Ashlee] disgust me BIG TIME! What kind of father would comment on his daughter's breasts ???

Posted by: Karen at January 11, 2005 02:41 AM
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