Burnt Orange Report

Keyes!

By Jim Dallas

I know that the other BOR guys are all on top of this, but I just want to say that I am excited about Alan Keyes facing Barack Obama in the Illinois Senate Race.

Now, normally, I would go and fully endorse Obama, who is an eloquent progressive, a shining star in the Democratic Party, and a likely presidential candidate someday.

But first of all, I think there needs to be a mercy rule in politics, just like in tee-ball. And every reasonable person is already backing Obama.

Also, in regards to (sortof) Ambassador Keyes:

In 2000, Michael Moore's The Awful Truth television show took a portable mosh pit across the country and challenged presidential candidates to dive in. The premise was that the show would endorse any Presidential hopeful crazy enough to do it. At one debate the mosh pit was called "the defining moment of the 2000 election."

At a town hall event being staged by Ronald Reagan's former ambassador to the United Nations Social and Economic Council, Alan Keyes, aides went outside to see what all the commotion was about. When informed that Keyes could get the endorsement of "The Awful Truth with Michael Moore," Keyes' national field director dove into the pit, hoping that would suffice for the endorsement. He then brought out "Uncle Sam," a Keyes supporter who also jumped in.

Alan Keyes, after being convinced for several minutes by his daughter to dive in also, did exactly that. He dove backwards into the screaming crowd of youths to the sound of Rage Against The Machine and surfed the crowd. After a couple of body slams with a spiked-hair youth from Ames high school, he left the pit with the official endorsement of the show.

Michael Moore said of the incident: "We knew Alan Keyes was insane. We just didn't know how insane until that moment."

So, frankly, Mr. Obama, you're a swell guy, but you don't mosh, and my key endorsement isn't actually gonna do anything but run up the score.

No endorsement from me!