Burnt Orange Report

You can't get religion without an appreciation for dark humor.

By Jim Dallas

And this is why you should read Pandagon - it'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry.

The story itself is so bizarre... but Ezra's play-by-play commentary had me both crying and laughing simultaneously.

The Passion of The Fluffy

So first we had a book describing executions, godly vengeance and a scorchingly hot pressure cooker where children who touched themselves were sent for eternity. But that wasn't enough. So we made a movie where you can see the virtuous son of God graphically beaten, whipped, cut, jeered at, spit upon, pierced, hurt, crucified and finally, killed. However, the kids still weren't having enough bad dreams. So out came Plan C. They'd kill the Easter Bunny...

..."People who attended Saturday's performance at Glassport's memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, 'There is no Easter bunny," and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.'

Ain't that a one-two punch? First tell the kids "there's no Easter bunny," then beat the shit out of him and his eggs. That's kinda like telling kids there's no Santa and then cooking and eating him. In front of them. With scores of dead reindeer laying around.

"Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. 'He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped,' Salzmann said."

I assume she informed the little heathen that it was for his sins before reading off an itemized list of what he did to kill Mr. Hoppers.